CanadianMOM - The Mail Order Marijuana Forum

Who doesn't love free weed?

This week's contest is one of the biggest giveaways we've had so far: 2 ounces of flower are being given away to two separate winners!!! (1oz each) All you need to do is write a cannabis-related poem: it can be any kind of poem (limericks, haikus, etc - even raps) and can be anything to do with cannabis, MOMs or the sponsor. This contest is sponsored by TheBulkGuys, give them some love!

If you'd like, you can post multiple entries. This contest will stay open for 10 days. On September 27th, this thread will be locked and a winner will be chosen by community vote on Discord.

Remember to thank TheBulkGuys for generously sponsoring the giveaway. Cheers and good luck to all

Oh my gorgeous sweet little D9
I'd gladly eat you any damn time
Other concentrate does not compare
You stand out, you really shine

Smoke it, eat it, ingest it any which way
Nothing is more potent either I must say
I've heard you compared to shatter
I LOL cause that's pretty gay

Sure maybe you were scraps or mould
Only the cook knows if truth be told
It's the end product that really matters
That weak argument is getting old

Distillate is the best, it's the real shit
I never tire of you one freaking bit
Papers thick an wet like tar
Excuse me while I take another hit

I've decided your the life fo me
I Love the 99 percent THC
Warm glow all over my body now
Has become my new reality

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Send me a shill pack
Five star review

"Sweet Leaf"

ALRIGHT NOW!
Won't you listen?

When I first met you, didn't realize
I can't forget you, for your surprise
you introduced me, to my mind
And left me wanting, you and your kind

I love you, Oh you know it

My life was empty, forever on a down
Until you took me, showed me around
My life is free now, my life is clear
I love you sweet leaf, though you can't hear

Come on now, try it out

Straight people don't know, what you're about
They put you down and shut you out
you gave to me a new belief
and soon the world will love you sweet leaf

Sweet Leaf- Black Sabbath. Any band who dedicates a song to weed like this is a band I like lol...Rock on Sabbath...rock on.

Just heard of a contest
For lots of free weed
Hope I win cause I'm broke
A grams all I need

I dont need no quads
Even mids would be fine
Having bud in my grinder
Would be so divine

Good luck to all
And to the winners, enjoy
I hope you get wrecked
Like completely destroyed

I need some weed, I need it now.
Only quads, trip A's are NOT allowed.

BIG dense buds, caked in crystal,
potent , smelly and looks official.

Grinds up nice, alittle sticky, smooth and tasty...its worth being picky.

To save a buck is really swell but smoking crappy weed will send your lungs to hell.

So before you order that $99 OZ, please reconsider , it might of been fed poo and pee.

So pick a MOM who doesnt look at you with cock-eyes...

I recommend our sponsor, They are 'The Bulk guys!

There once was a stoner named Mark
He rolled a joint on his way to the park
but It slipped from his hand
and he saw it crash-land
So he picked it up and gave it a spark.

Right away he knew something was off
as he was primed and ready to blastoff
The joint had gotten wet
and this made Mark upset
So he ran home to checkout before cutoff

As he looked at his empty glass jar
he knew he had took it too far
should have ordered Wednesday
it would have been here today
So he ordered an oz of Rockstar

If you ask ol' Will, he'll tell ya here's the deal
Friends, it's all goin' to pot

Well, it's all going to pot
Whether we like it or not
The best I can tell
The world's gone to hell
And we're all gonna miss it a lot

All the whiskey in Lynchburg, Tennessee
Just couldn't hit the spot
I gotta hundred dollar bill
You can keep your pills, friend
It's all goin' to pot

Well I thought I had found me a girl
Sweetest little thing in the world
But all my jokes went up in smoke
When I caught her makin' eyes at Merle

He said, sweet little honey
With her eye on your money
She's gonna take every penny you got
I said she's never gonna get it
'Cause I've already spent it
Merle, it's all goin' to pot

-willie

His palms are sweaty, mouth dry like he smoked something heavy,
Munchies hitting him hard, he's craving mom's spaghetti,
He's nervous, ordered service, should've come already
He loves MOM's, fast, cheap, and not at all sketchy
He's smoking now, fav strain Afghan Cow,
He packs a bowl, lights up, rips it, POW

Snap back to reality, big Growth like Canopy,
Edibles still banned but we ain't living in agony,
The CMOM's got our back, a remedy for the malady,
Need a driving license but that's just a formality,
My people @ GanjaGrams always got the capacity,
From stoners to first timers to those who smoke casually,
You won't find green more pure or greater chromatically,
In fact if you sign up you get a free joint automatically!

DISCLAIMER: I am in no way sponsored or affiliated with GanjaGrams.

Roses are Red,
But Weed is Greener,
I think of you,
When I touch my Weiner!

If you ask ol' Will, he'll tell ya here's the deal
Friends, it's all goin' to pot

Well, it's all going to pot
Whether we like it or not
The best I can tell
The world's gone to hell
And we're all gonna miss it a lot

All the whiskey in Lynchburg, Tennessee
Just couldn't hit the spot
I gotta hundred dollar bill
You can keep your pills, friend
It's all goin' to pot

Well I thought I had found me a girl
Sweetest little thing in the world
But all my jokes went up in smoke
When I caught her makin' eyes at Merle

He said, sweet little honey
With her eye on your money
She's gonna take every penny you got
I said she's never gonna get it
'Cause I've already spent it
Merle, it's all goin' to pot

Trying to write a poem high, this feels like homework,
So I'll just quickly spit one out before I go berserk.

A community hurt over empty boxes and lies,
Did Hillier write a poem? Nah, meth wasnt the prize.

I don't like poems much but I tried to make it rhyme,
It may not win, but at least it wasn't a Mosiac this time.

So good luck contestants, be witty and wise.
Thanks cmom admins, and of course the bulk guys!

CMOM is the place to see all the weed deals and reviews that apply to me

Lots of info on things that matter; the best strains and the best growers and where to get shatter

Besides the info there is some drama...courtesy of the one and only LLAMA

CAPTAIN CRUNCH runs a tight ship...hes a cereal killa that uses milk for his bong rip

HILLIER trolls the pages late at night, when not delivering pizza hes always looking for a fight

KUSH was broke but began to SHILL MOM'S for pot... he IS the man to ask about the best weed available....NOT!

SOULJA is the king of quads...if you give him trips and he will tell ya' off

DABKING likes to give out questionable 'prizes', just ask MI, he won Hash made by ISIS

REALGANSTA didnt come from a human birth, when he heard weed was legal he travelled many galaxies to visit this Earth

BRIMLY'S BOTANICALS business is in motion... he sells quality CBD jerk off lotion

Now how do I win this weekly draw, I will sell out members quick to win the haul.

TJ84 will do ANYTHING TO be a winner, to prove it drop your fly, (*slurp slurp*) and I thank THE BULK GUYS for this high protein dinner!

To feel or not to feel
High is the question

To be or not to be
Stoned is the answer

I wrote this before many of you stoners were born Not entering the contest just posting it!

My Friend

First heard of you when I was young, was with the bold you rolled,
Knew eventually we would meet, I was on the path, breaking the mold.
Then there was the day we met, I was broken, angry and alone,
You made me laugh and smile, to see my reality, gave me focus, I’m in the zone.
No stopping me now I see the light, I’m different and it’s cool,
You help me see clearly, I’m not like the crowd, I’ll be no society fool.
Don’t let anything hold you back, a lot of life you’ll miss,
Roll up with my friend and see the world, the name is Cannabis

"When I first started smoking weed, I told myself that I would smoke on special occasions. Turns out everyday is a special occasion"
And thanks for my entry
Also thanks to Thebulkguys for the giveaway contest.

Super Lemon Haze
Super Lemon Haze
Super Lemon Haze

If the Ocean were weed
and i were a duck
Id swim to the bodttom
and smoke my way up
but the ocean aint weed
and I aint no duck
so pass me the piece
and Ill shut the fuck up

"The Creeper"

The sun goes down, you know what this can mean,
I open my jar, stuffed with double A green,
I see stems, and sticks, and a fuck load of seeds,
its shit, and its harsh, but it handles my needs

But as my supply dwindles, I take to the MOM's,
I say "no more double A, I'm looking for bomb",
Those "concentrates sure look expensive I chatter",
But i'm here for quads, not rosin nor shatter,

I soon find my deal, I sure find myself lucky,
but i surely do pray, another Tony wont fuck me,
But alas my O shows, my clean Illadelph knows,
I take a deep breath, and open the windows,

I take my rip, not two but, three,
I shrug, this quad has disappointed me,
was the 220 worth it, I began to wonder,
As my ears start to tingle, then sounds of thunder,

I now realize, i have made quite the mistake,
My legs are like jello, and my cat looks like a snake,
"The walls are melting", I yell at the stair rail,
As everyone runs away from me, on this hiking trail,

After hours and hours, I find my way home,
exhausted and burnt, but comfortably stoned,
This is a cautionary tale, for the eager quad seeker,
take one rip at a time, for beware the creeper...

By Lopps!

Thanks for the giveaway, I love everyone's entries so far!!!!!!!!!

A Cannabis Manifesto

Drugs are bad they melt your brain,
Concerned children's advertisers said they make you insane,
Ruin your head and destroy your thoughts,
Keep you in cycles of being all fucked up.

But when I was a adult and the drugs were still bad,
Sick of propaganda and misinformation I had,
A friend sparked a joint and left me feeling divine,
Before I knew it, smoking cloud nine.

The next day, I rolled out of bed,
Relaxed, upbeat, and clear in my head.
It wasn't what I was told and nothing like they said,
Released from the lies that I was going to end up dead.

Now I am older and bear witness to the wise,
A decision was made to come and legalize,
The marihuana isn't as evil, they now say,
And legal weed is now the only way.

Buying illicitly is now the new fight,
But it's those folks who were always right!
They fought the system when the system was wrong,
And now here's their chance but they can't tag along?

To hell with the government, they oppress the best,
To hell with the police, they still choose to arrest,
To hell with the capitalists, they never fought the struggle,
I'll stay with my MOMs, who know how to snuggle.

The only solution
For incurable pain
Which western medicine
Doesn't have
The answer for.

As I add
This magical herb
To my food.

In the hope
Of being able
To move
Without chronic pain.

While
Big Pharma protest
Against the legality
Of the mighty bud.

As they're cut out
Of this payday
To their bottom line.

Because
It's a natural plant
And not
One of their toxic
Compounds.

Who is there when I first open my eyes?
Who is there to help me float up in the sky?
Who is there to make a night more fun?
Who is there when I want to go for a good run?
Who is there to make me feel all mellow?
Who will make me eat all the marshmallows?
Who is there to make me feel more horny?
Who is there to make my movie less corny?
Who is there when I really want to rock?
Who is there when I can’t stop staring at the clock?
Who is there when I want to go to bed?
Who is there always in my head?
There is but one answer to all of the above
It is a thing that I have truly come to love.
WEED!!!

How amazing it is, so dangerous but fun,
to order my weed on a site from someone.
Sometimes it is leafy and sometimes so dense,
as long as there’s trichomes I’m glad in the end.

Stealing my money? Now there is my phobia,
I’d rather just smoke away all paranoia,
I’m lighting a bowl just to go do my strain check,
I can’t seem to choose either Afgoo or Trainwreck!

Some sites are tricky and the photos are lying,
others will please me and then have me smiling!Which one will it be? This or the other?
I pray that the photographs match to my order.

Look at the crowns, take in the scents,
does that say, “THC, 20 percent?”
My mouth almost waters at what is for sale,
this is why I love my weed in the mail!

So now it is time, to go look some more,
I wonder what treats will be shown in store!
Maybe some jet fuel, or cookies for me?
Will my love for purple show itself in the trees?

I guess we will see, with my own two eyes,
we’ll see if there’s joy waiting in the surprise,
I’ve thanked many people at different times,
this time I hope that I’m thanking The Bulk Guys.
♡

Good luck to everyone I love the submissions!

Concrete poetry—sometimes also called 'shape poetry'—is poetry whose visual appearance matches the topic of the poem. The words form shapes which illustrate the poem's subject as a picture, as well as through their literal meaning.

My poem resembles a joint/spliff being smokes with friends and while smoking the spliff gets smaller untill its " roached"

PUFF PUFF PASS
PUFF PUFF PAS
PUFF PUFF PA
PUFF PUFF
PUFF PUF
PUFF PU
PUFF P
PUFF
PUF
PU
ROACH

Entry #2

To Grow, Or Not to Grow:

As this long Toronto winter, begins to recede,
I look to the seedbanks, for my dank Indo needs,
Do I want Kush, some OG, or sweet seeds crystal candy?
I search for the strain, that will pair well with brandy,

I search and I search, but cannot come to a decision,
So I take a fat rip, to help clear my vision,
It’s the cheese that I want, but also Grand Daddy,
I can’t make up my mind, so I roll one more fatty,

As my cart starts to build, my bank account quivers,
But my vision starts to form, of thick rosin rivers,
Just one more seed, as this weeks paycheck starts to strain,
Cant forget CBD shark, in case of a pesky migraine,

The day has arrived, seeds are now in my possession,
In the germ chamber they go, for about 3 days I’m guessin,
5 out of 5 crack, this grow is going to be filthy,
This shits too easy to fuck up, unless your name is Hillie,

Four weeks into Veg, as my indoor gals spread,
And my outdoor sativas, fill my garden bed,
First I top, then I SCROG, like this is my day job,
And I set up my cameras, in case the rats try to rob,

As early fall arrives, my ladies touch the sky,
But those trichomes are cloudy, I don’t want no head high,
Two more weeks to go, and the amber will show,
Early October is Christmas, a cannabis is my mistletoe,

It finally happened, chop day has arrived
Down goes my gelato, its brings a tear to my eye,
10 days in the dry room, makes those sugar leaves curl,
Then one month in some jars, with some Boveda pearls,

The cure is complete, the smell has returned,
One jar does not smell nice, I guess lesson learned,
I share my bounty with friends, we smoke until hit with some noms
Thanks you again, Canadian MOMs

The Trip

Let me take you on a ride of an unimaginable quest, to find the weed holy grail so this edible you'll ingest

Deeper and deeper in the hole we plummet, as if falling from the peak of the highest summit

We must go back you exclaim in dreadful fright but that option has passed I proclaim with devilish delight

Your mind is encapsuled in my web of deceat, wound by the delusional hands of my warped clock like a coo coo on eternal repeat

The maddening sound of tick tock tick tock you try to exit the ride, but this is a shipwreck don't let go or you'll be tossed like the joker from a card deck over the side

The waves are calming you can feel the breeze, so unclasp your hands and get off your knees

The answers to your prayers are not on these seas, you raise your hands to the skies to beg and plead like weed reaching for the sun wanting to be tall trees 

But please don't waste the hands of the clock, we've just begun... Knock knock... 

A small door found in the silver sand, I will not enter you cry as I take your hand

 Up the steps that lead down a path, captcrunch awaits with furious wrath

Trapped like an animal who's foot is wrapped by a Steele claw, what comes next you'll wish you never saw

Closer and closer the capt nears, you !shop 5 and a weapon appears

Unloading a clip your gun is lit like fire distillate, up in smoke the air fills with clouds like a million man March hitting louds

Relish in your defeat of the final boss battle like a mongoose feeling death from a strike deadlier than hilliers zipper rattle

Rest your mind from the race and sit, we're nearing the end I sadly admit

Tick tock tick tock we must be back on our way like the awaiting Oz that will arrive today

It's getting late as time flies so I'll let you escape from these red eyes that will return soon from more tokes of the buds you grabbed from thebulkguys

See you again when you're consumed by your habbit for your mind will always be lost in the clock of the white rabbit.

(capt, you're not a villain, you represent reality which we all battle in the depths of our highs)

Roses are red
Don't waste your time
Nobody can beat
Silvah's dope rhyme

Roses are red, violets are blue, give me free weed or I'll call the RCMP on you.

One for the money and two for the show,When I get some weed I can let these flow.

written to: Kanye West - Spaceships (Instrumental)
[youtube]https://youtu.be/rW3-z3_0t4E[/youtube]
.
got me feeling nice every night, living every right,
winning heavy fights, turning indecision into intuition,
now i'm in the rhythm, til we win the mission,
or - maybe just intermission, hah,
gettin tired, definitely been a minute
since i've rhymed, still i'm independent,
if i tried? always end up winnin'

run the point, CP3
tryna win, TBG,
by the zip, like we won the 'chip,
man I'm so legit, Eazy E
i'm a savage, or a manic, automatically
photograph shit, now its rap shit? Kanye classic?!
Allen Iverson, talkin' practice.


Spaceships (Heaven Knows Remix)
Mp3: https://416strains.ca/920.mp3

________________

hope you guys enjoy this impromptu verse for the contest <3 took just over an hour to write (while stoned) + recorded a handful of takes on our iPad app before tone pitching one to preserve some anonymity haha. (it's actually been quite some time since I've written anything.. awful old man breath control lol)

was enjoying Lindsay OG throughout, which is why the first half is about indicas, with the second half inspired by sativas.. hopefully there'll be enough hip hop and basketball fans here to get my references. the original un-distorted instrumental is an amazing piece of music + highly recommended

oh, and if we win, I'd like to gift the entire oz to one of our new 416 Contributors (from this forum) who'll be helping us with guest/community reviews going forward. shouts to the CMoMs crew for all the dope contests + obviously to the sponsors. This was fun, best of luck everyone!

Empty Box Regrets

As I left the office my mind was lost like all the time I now knew I would lose. I felt normal but inside a monster grew from the past decisions mistakes made me choose. I've been given 6 months to death but I can start living until my dying breath. The fear is debilitating as I think of my existence, the one wasted in denial it'll someday end which was met with resistance. Drugs fill my veins in hopes of revival but the odds are against me in terms of survival. Loneliness sets in as the rooms silence is all I can hear, I cry knowing I soon won't be here. I watch my family breakdown at the idea of my absence from this place, they pretend to not show it but it's written on their face. On last trip as my time winds down, Vegas, Florida or even just out of town. I'm too weak and weary to get up out of bed, we got news today it's traveled to my head. The Dr inquires if I have any questions, I'm too afraid to ask it but timeframe for a casket he makes suggestions. The drugs have stopped and resuscitation talk has begun, all hopes are lost the cancer has won. It's my final days, they have arrived, I'll be missed by my kids, my wife, I want to survive. Rest now for it won't be long, my eyes will close and I'll soon be gone. The pain is easing, blood pressure declining, my breathing is wheezing until my last gasp as I start flatlining. In my last moment I picture my life unfold, the love the laughs the stories told. I'm in the realm of no return, the unknown flying in heavens high or below in hells burn. Words of kindness and kind deeds spoke at my wake, no mention of wrong or any mistakes... Especially the package I ordered of an empty box from cheapweed which really took the cake.

My Blunt of Kush

Burn gently my dear…
Filled, my lungs yet to be.
Started late, I have been puffing you away,
slowly through the night.

Bare slowly you may,
sodden breaths of earthy ember
Tonight, voracious heart shall devour you,
my blunt of Kush.

im not entering the contest i was jsut bored.

Rose's are red,
Weed is green.
Insane in the membrane
Cotton mouth kings

They asked if we want weed
Give me anal please
Up to you which one is free

It's a week before weed day,
and there's no pot in sight.
Everybody was fiending
for a doob in the night.

We salivated and we jones'd
and some people cried.
The anxiety is real,
we're dying inside.

Searching through the stash box
Hank finds some old duff.
When mixed with tobacco,
it's some pretty nasty stuff.

But wait, on the porch,
there was such a clatter.
we ran to the front,
to see what was the matter.

Out of nothing appeared
a slight man in a Chevrolet,
with a grin on his face,
triumphantly gleaming "Happy Thursday!"

"A gift for my friend, and a gift all for you"
"And, oh not to forget my buddy Kush too!"
"Happy Weed Day to all, and to all a good evenin'!
"and having said that, it's off to the Carribean!"

He smiled as he stammered away from the house,
and took my sisters money she saved for her blouse.
Excited and elated we danced and we sang,
for weed day was here early, time for a bang!

Unwrapping the package was fun and exciting,
riddled with anxiousness, our nails worn from biting.
As we peer inside to catch a glimpse of heaven,
the moment is broken with a shriek from Kevin.

"AN EMPTY BOX!" he proclaimed, with horror and fear,
amidst the silence, the slight man laughing we hear.
"Happy Weed Day!" he gloated as he ran to the hills.
along with the money he took from his shills.

Our boxes there sat, our dreams have been shattered,
just a few weeks ago none of this mattered.
Swallowing our pride, we all noshed a muffin,
knowing we got scammed with a box full of nuffin.

Without anything else we decided to scramble,
"Let's try another site, I guess we'll take a gamble".
Entered into google, the search had done twirled,
first link to try out? Sabrina's World!

Woke up dry and started the hunt for a MILF
Cause theres a mom I'd like to find who got them deals on that pilf

Hit up C'mom deals to check-out mommies devine
Best be choppen quads for reals priced like dubs at 99

Cheeba's deal here on 38 kinds of hash
Cheeba's you for real? I got no green in my stash!

Brand new mom called Not Toney I swear
Offers same day never shipping and under strains says who cares.

Here's another deal posted 48 times
I wonder if it's on the nuken or the nuken this time

So many mom's trying to get at Dogs dime
But when I ask for a pack for a shill they act like I did a sex crime

I know you all be hating cause you think that ship don't float
But doggy still pays low for some fire from boat.


Check out the dog pound on anything kush for more art by

Cmom wants a verse so I bust a little rhyme,
So many new MOMs trying to make a quick dime,
Some are legit but some are just phony, I wonder how many will become the new Tony,
TGV and KS for flower at affordable prices,
Enigma is the plug for my concentrate vices,
Cheebas the king of all the hashes and stuff,
there’s no competition between him and king tuts,
Want moldy kief bud? Call up the boat,
For the best purple Punch, CN is the goat,
Too many other MOMs for my small verse to fill, just tag that bitch Mi if you need a quick shill

Ahem..... *alien throat clear*

The alien is here to bust a quick rap,
so many new moms pushing cheap crap,
if I ever met tony he would get a big slap,
he took lots of street guys off the map.

If you’re looking for killz better call up Kush station,
she’s the source of Vorgs nightly masturbation,
Enigmas products are better than his attitude,
the man’s got some fire even though he’s rude,
CN got the dank at a higher price tag, much better than most who will sell a mold bag,
Green vault for cheap shatter and affordable weed,
call up CW to make your bank account bleed,
Cheebas the hash plug and he never will falter,
call up KT if you like to smoke sulfur!

King shill on the beat, ya'll better prepare for defeat,
I'm rhyming all day with the shilling elite, I’ll promote your products for just a shill pack,
Give you a 10 even if that shits whack, my favorite moms never give me free stuff, if I wanna smoke trash I’ll call up king tut,
Prince got that fire and he’s all over the chat, GreenVault coming through with that fire budget shat,
If I wanna smoke hash you know I’ll call up the cheebs, cheapweed still selling to uninformed dweebs,
Enigma is the concentrate king even though he’s a dick, he’s got the best dabs cuz they don’t make me sick,
Too many new moms coming in the game and they phony, most of them looking like they'll become the next tony

AimOrDie wrote: Thu Sep 26, 2019 10:49 am King shill on the beat, ya'll better prepare for defeat,
I'm rhyming all day with the shilling elite, I’ll promote your products for just a shill pack,
Give you a 10 even if that shits whack, my favorite moms never give me free stuff, if I wanna smoke trash I’ll call up king tut,
Prince got that fire and he’s all over the chat, GreenVault coming through with that fire budget shat,
If I wanna smoke hash you know I’ll call up the cheebs, cheapweed still selling to uninformed dweebs,
Enigma is the concentrate king even though he’s a dick, he’s got the best dabs cuz they don’t make me sick,
Too many new moms coming in the game and they phony, most of them looking like they'll become the next tony

*snicker* nice one !